What is Love?

One night before going to bed I asked the moon this very large question. I figured that if my inner self knows all the answers then I should not have any problem regurgitating what I know. The moon is the guardian of the night. It connects us to the energetic life which are our memories, thoughts and emotions.

I came to realize that I could not put into words what love meant to me. So, I needed a little metaphor or a story to help clarify the meaning of love in my own term. Dreams are a marvelous tool for accomplishing this. Besides, I am planning to give a workshop on the Valentine's day. It will be a celebration of love!

When I woke up I could not remember any dream right away. It would have meant that love is simply no-thing. That would be too simple and too vast. Thirty minutes later I remember vividly that I dreamed of taking a warm shower of water mixed with oil. The mixture had a softer and heavier body than just plain water. I liked it. I remembered thinking that I hope nobody else in the house had to experience this mess. It was a pleasant mess for me nevertheless. Love is messy!

During the following morning meditation my mind wandered. Love is the mixing of (at least) two things? Love is heat, friction and action? Love is touch? Love is feeling? Love is cleansing? Unsatisfied, I googled the words yoga + love. One of the results gave me "An Illicit Yoga Love Story".

After being sidetracked and finished reading the story I realized that love is truly messy. Crawling my way back to the question what is love? I still can't give a direct answer. Love are all those things that I mentioned and more. We often think of love as a union between a man and a woman. Love is a union of all things to one another. Of all the words that could compose the meaning of love the single most important word is relationship.

To actively love is to take the responsibility of relating to everything we come in contact with. The man who developed the love course at USC, Leo Buscaglia wrote in his little booked appropriately called LOVE - "I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate- it's apathy. It's not giving a damn." Not giving a damn is certainly a failure to relate.

Apathy or a state of indifference is a suppression of emotion. It is different from the enlightened state of non-grasping. Love is a balance state juggling between giving and taking, birth and death. If you are one of the people who love to give but have a hard time taking. I know several because of my line of work. You think taking is bad but what good is giving if there is no taking? The trick is balancing between the two. Love is all about fairness even if we can't quite see it. A disaster means a chance to learn from the past, rebuild and grow.

Right now Haiti and her people are going through a slow recovery after a devastating earthquake. One article in the recent Newsweek asked why God hates Haiti? Perhaps hate is just another form of love expressed destructively? We see this in people who hate one or both of their abusive parents yet act just like them. Whatever we put our attention to (which means that we spend a lot of our time trying to relate to it) will unite with us - good, bad, beautiful or ugly.

A loving relationship allows movement, changes, growth and evolution. That is how nature works. So, if you are in a relationship that feels stuck and suppressed then you are not in love. True love needs space to maintain equilibrium. I don't wear extremely tight jeans even if they look fabulous on. I need a pair of jeans that give so I can walk comfortably and digest foods efficiently. The same can be said about a romantic relationship or any other kinds of relationship. Space allows mobility. Love is spacious.

I conclude that love is too big to sum up in one word, a phrase or a story. In fact words are probably not the best outlet for explaining love. Words are frozen symbols. Love is vibrantly alive and active. It continues to relate, change, expand, contract, vibrate... Love is experiencing things for the first time. And because all things change moment by moment we truly are experiencing everything for the first time. Love is the reality waiting for us to wake up and love!