Saturday, January 16, 2010

What is Love?

One night before going to bed I asked the moon this very large question. I figured that if my inner self knows all the answers then I should not have any problem regurgitating what I know. The moon is the guardian of the night. It connects us to the energetic life which are our memories, thoughts and emotions.

I came to realize that I could not put into words what love meant to me. So, I needed a little metaphor or a story to help clarify the meaning of love in my own term. Dreams are a marvelous tool for accomplishing this. Besides, I am planning to give a workshop on the Valentine's day. It will be a celebration of love!

When I woke up I could not remember any dream right away. It would have meant that love is simply no-thing. That would be too simple and too vast. Thirty minutes later I remember vividly that I dreamed of taking a warm shower of water mixed with oil. The mixture had a softer and heavier body than just plain water. I liked it. I remembered thinking that I hope nobody else in the house had to experience this mess. It was a pleasant mess for me nevertheless. Love is messy!

During the following morning meditation my mind wandered. Love is the mixing of (at least) two things? Love is heat, friction and action? Love is touch? Love is feeling? Love is cleansing? Unsatisfied, I googled the words yoga + love. One of the results gave me "An Illicit Yoga Love Story".

After being sidetracked and finished reading the story I realized that love is truly messy. Crawling my way back to the question what is love? I still can't give a direct answer. Love are all those things that I mentioned and more. We often think of love as a union between a man and a woman. Love is a union of all things to one another. Of all the words that could compose the meaning of love the single most important word is relationship.

To actively love is to take the responsibility of relating to everything we come in contact with. The man who developed the love course at USC, Leo Buscaglia wrote in his little booked appropriately called LOVE - "I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate- it's apathy. It's not giving a damn." Not giving a damn is certainly a failure to relate.

Apathy or a state of indifference is a suppression of emotion. It is different from the enlightened state of non-grasping. Love is a balance state juggling between giving and taking, birth and death. If you are one of the people who love to give but have a hard time taking. I know several because of my line of work. You think taking is bad but what good is giving if there is no taking? The trick is balancing between the two. Love is all about fairness even if we can't quite see it. A disaster means a chance to learn from the past, rebuild and grow.

Right now Haiti and her people are going through a slow recovery after a devastating earthquake. One article in the recent Newsweek asked why God hates Haiti? Perhaps hate is just another form of love expressed destructively? We see this in people who hate one or both of their abusive parents yet act just like them. Whatever we put our attention to (which means that we spend a lot of our time trying to relate to it) will unite with us - good, bad, beautiful or ugly.

A loving relationship allows movement, changes, growth and evolution. That is how nature works. So, if you are in a relationship that feels stuck and suppressed then you are not in love. True love needs space to maintain equilibrium. I don't wear extremely tight jeans even if they look fabulous on. I need a pair of jeans that give so I can walk comfortably and digest foods efficiently. The same can be said about a romantic relationship or any other kinds of relationship. Space allows mobility. Love is spacious.

I conclude that love is too big to sum up in one word, a phrase or a story. In fact words are probably not the best outlet for explaining love. Words are frozen symbols. Love is vibrantly alive and active. It continues to relate, change, expand, contract, vibrate... Love is experiencing things for the first time. And because all things change moment by moment we truly are experiencing everything for the first time. Love is the reality waiting for us to wake up and love!

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Meaning of Yoga

Some teachers say Yoga is a noun. It means union or the state of being. You can't do yoga. You have to be yoga.

Some say Yoga is a verb. It's an active state. You have to practice yoga in order to realize its fruit -the state of union.

For me, yoga is both. It's the balance state. As Indira Ghandi puts it -"
You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."

The more a practitioner learns about yoga the broader her perspective. We live in the world filled with dualities. Without darkness we can't recognize the light. Yoga teachings allow the practitioner to see beyond pairs of opposites.

Are you in a more active state of yoga? There are 8 limbs of yoga. If you are doing a lot of physical yoga practice, excelling in yoga postures and having mastered Ujjaiyi breath but feel that you are not progressing try doing more mental and emotional practices. Read more about the other 6 limbs and bring their teachings to your life.

Are you in a more passive state of yoga? If you are spending a lot of time alone and prefer to meditate but your body and mind are constantly ill at ease try more physical practice.

You will find that yoga is a constant balance between the state of doing and being. The zen koan puts it well -"After enlightenment, the laundry." And since none of us (who are reading this blog) are enlighten we probably have a lot more being to do.


Friday, January 1, 2010

2010 for Feminine Revitalization

I celebrated the end of 2009 with an early sleep. On the first morning of 2010 I called my mom and sister in Thailand. 6am in California is 9pm in Bangkok so, I had prepared myself accordingly.

During the Christmas I spent time with my partner's family in Canada. The news of the attempted plane bombing on the Christmas day infused our conversations. The question came up was what do the terrorists want? I am not the one who can cite figures and fractions with certainty but guided by my instinct I put in my two cents.

Terrorists as well as most nation leaders may or may not know what they want. The sure fact is they focus primarily on what they do not want. Why would you waste your time avoiding, destructing and eradicating what you don't want if you are focusing on what you want? What you want is always positive and life affirming. What you don't want is negative, fear based and culminates in violence and destruction.

Increased industrialization, economic growth and technological advancement are all wonderful. I am thankful to man's mental capacity and material advancement as well as physical convenience it has brought forth. The linear way of thinking and executing provides us with plentiful, adulterated materials -foods and otherwise as well as high tech, high cost wars, environmental degradation, cancer, obesity, heart diseases...

Ponder a little deeper and I realize that I am totally bought in to the man's idea of prosperity. Men are wonderful at providing foods and shelters and women are eager to nourish man's ideas from the comfort of a safe and abundant home. Hence, we are living largely in the paternal culture where God is our father and wars are our his-story.

I am not a feminist because I am not against men. I am feminine because I am for maternal revitalization. What our male leaders and terrorists have in common is the lack of integrated masculinity. The more violence the cultures the lesser respect given to women. The cultures where mothers, daughters, sisters have no voice is the culture with no root nor connection to natural instinct and nature.

Notice that there is no female leaders in materially powerful nations nor in cultures resourced to violence? The world full of wars and environmental disaster is not the world you want. But if you have forgotten what you are then you don't remember what you want. If you don't know what you want then you focus on what you don't want.

Women have lived in the paternal culture many lifetimes. We mistaken our feminine's worth by measuring up to man's ability. This led to further the lack of woman's femininity and the inability to focus on what is wanted. I call on all women to take the responsibility of being the source of love and light for ourselves and our men.

For the year 2010 I commit to awakening my feminine power by focusing on what I want. I know that the quality of my experience depends on it. Peace, love and prosperity are mine and me when I engage all my attention to them and not the lack of them.

Have a happy, wholly New Year.