Practical Meditation

As I am finishing up both of my ayurveda and yoga trainings I find myself in the midst of an erratic schedule. My sleeping time ranges from 9 pm to 11 pm and my waking time ranges from 5 am to 7 am. Morning is my most sacred time. I set up a morning routine that includes self-cleansing, sacred reading and meditation. With the new schedule I had to relinquish some of the activities. I still regularly practice meditation in the morning except on the days that I have to leave home at 6 am for the yoga classes. On the days that I get up later due to late classes on the previous nights my meditation does not feel quite as satisfying.

A conversation with a friend from the yoga training inspired me to think more deeply about my meditation practice. She is also experiencing some challenges in keeping up with her meditation practice due to changes in her life circumstance. How can we practically integrate meditation into our everyday life when there are changes and conditions that get in the way?

In the last winter, I spent ten days at Sivananda Yoga Ashram in Grass Valley. During those cold and sodden days I woke up at 5:30 am every morning to meditate for thirty minutes. It was my second meditation retreat and I had an easier time following the meditation routine. After a few months of regular meditation practice since the first retreat I was able to sit more comfortably and for a longer period. I was also given a mantra and it had become a habit to repeat the mantra without much fussing. The mantra was to be my object of focus so that I could train my mind to concentrate on only one object. Yet, my mind was still very active even in the peaceful ashram setting. Instead of letting only the mantra filled up my mind I often added the mantra on top of the already brimmed mental space.

After a few days there, I could sometime felt a glimpse of stillness during a meditation. It was as fleeting as the rest of my mental drama. Nevertheless, it was reassuring and I ensued the practice with deliberation. Having more confidence in my meditation practice I asked Swami Sita, a female monk who led the retreat if I could do a longer practice at home. At the first retreat she prescribed to me a fifteen minutes meditation in the morning and again in the evening. I confessed to her that it took about fifteen minutes for my mind to begin settling down. I thought that it would be best for me to aim for a thirty minutes home practice to accommodate my exceedingly active mind. She gave me a compassionate look and proceeded to tell me to the effect of the followings.

Time is not an important measure in meditation. Sitting longer does not improve meditation. Consider meditating throughout the day by becoming more mindful of the mental activities. Observe the mind and emotion. As long as they swing unconsciously throughout the day there is no hope in gaining mental equability necessary for a meditation practice.

Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. They shifted my focus from the span of 30 minutes to each and every moment of the day. They not only freed myself off from trying to achieve a perfect morning meditation but also gave me a chance to make up my meditation no matter where I was and what I was doing. The discipline I used in bringing myself to the meditation cushion could also be utilized and titrated throughout my day whenever I recognized my habitual emotional swings.

Swami Sita’s simple words bestowed me an epiphany. Meditation is not separate from the rest of life. The fruit of meditation is the union of self with Self. That Self is vast and I will not attempt to define it for everyone. For me, it is that which is greater than what my mind can perceive. Hence, it is limitless, timeless and spaceless. It exists in the realm of spirit and it is what inspires (in-spirit) life. To attempt a union with that Self I must become as vast and boundless. I cannot realize it by creating a perfect meditation routine without regards to the rest of my life.

Presently, as I juggle with the not so harmonious schedule I also keep in mind those wise words from Swami Sita. Instead of using my meditation practice as a way to achieve peace and calmness in life, I use life as a way to enhance my meditation practice. I am still sticking to the fifteen minutes routine but I also embrace a five minutes or a thirty minutes session. The best part is that I look for the opportunity to meditate in any given moment. My favorite session is during the time when I have strong emotions like anger and fear or even the seemingly less destructive emotions such as pride and exultation. Those emotions tend to subside after a period of observation. What left are the more neutral, long lasting and nourishing emotions like calmness and contentment.

My meditation for the moment to moment practice consists of bringing my awareness to my thoughts and emotions. Instead of focusing on what a situation or a person makes me feel, I focus on what I make myself feel. This allows me to change how I feel because my feeling does not depend on any outside factor. As long as we think that something or someone is making us feel bad, we give up our responsibility to make the real change in how we response to them. Our concentration is wasted on what is always changing and uncontrollable. A different person or another situation continues to make us feel bad.

I find gratefulness to be an excellent tool in bringing myself out of my all-important, ego-centered self. Instead of trying to control the situation and make changes the moment those emotions arise, I wait. I fill up my time with gratitude on anything that assists me in my daily existence. And I send out my love to whatever and whomever my thoughts were attacking or fearing. After then, I may or may not proceed to act in regard to the emotions. With all the space that I create between my thoughts, emotions and actions, I have a better chance to act appropriately and transcend my stubborn habits. Being grateful is like giving up my small self to the greater Self. In this space there can be no conflict. I am in union with that which inspires my life.

Similar to my morning meditation practice, my moment meditation practice does not always give me a sense of peace. It does continually inspire my observation and subsequently my eagerness for the practice. It does not solve my daily occurring life condition. However, meditating on momentarily life occurrence keeps me grounded in the big picture, the great one. I am not as inclined to be influenced by my life condition. In each and every moment I am given an opportunity to realize my greater Self, even within my irregular schedule. That is something to be grateful for.

Om Namo Narayanaya