It has been a while since I have time to write an article. Early this morning I had a powerful message during my meditation to write about exactly what the title calls for. Having a message during a meditation is nothing but having a purgation of thoughts that need to be surfaced. Once again, I acknowledged my monkey mind and took a note of what I needed to do.
Since my last meditation retreat at Sivananda Ashram in Grass Valley last winter I have been faithfully following an instruction from Swami Sita. I was to sit for fifteen minutes morning and evening and repeat the given mantra. At the time I thought that it was a technique to occupy my mind for a higher purpose. Instead of preoccupying my mind with some mundane daily activities and get bored or agitated by them I could be thinking about God and connecting with the divine. I understood this intellectually but I had no idea how it would manifest.
Another technique from Swami Sita is to sit with an inner focus on the third eye (the spot on the forehead right above the center of the eyebrows). Another option is to focus at the center of the chest which is the heart center. Swami Sita told us to pick one that naturally come to us. The third eye spot is for someone who is more mentally and intellectually engaged. The heart center is for someone who is more devotional and more emotionally engaged. I found myself over and over again fixing my inner gaze dead on that third eye spot. With the mantra and the inner focal point I was equipped with the traditional vedic meditation technique. I was a fit person to commune with God as my inflated ego would have it.
So, what has another year brought after all this meditation or more accurately "sit." I cannot say that I have ever meditated as I never once felt that long, uninterrupted state of absorption with the divine. For a short period of time I would feel immense peace. It normally followed by my thought of "ah, I do not want to get out of this peace". Then it was all over. I had to try to get back into that peace again.
I used to cringe at anything devotional. I had a big dose of it growing up in Thailand attending many hours in temples wondering how older folks could be so...well,devotional. Throughout my school years up to highschool I was herded into a line with my fellow schoolmates military style every morning. After singing the national anthem we chanted a Buddhist mantra not unlike the mantras I am chanting now in the yoga classes I teach. At that time I was bored to death with the process. Yet, somehow me and my Buddha developed a strong bond that last to this day. I now credit much of our successful relationship to the mantras I used to loath. But when Swami Sita told us to pick a spot and it was so easy for me to focus on my third eye I thought to myself that I could never be a devotional type. Little did I know the power of the mantra meditation.
It occurred to me this morning that more than anything else the effect of the mantra is softening. Over time the mantra softens me, my shell, my ego and in the process it gently broke my heart opened. It allows me to bow down and accept the beauty and love of devotional practice even as I am fixed on that third eye. It has become a part of my daily routine now to light up an incense first thing in the morning. I offer the fire ritual to gods and goddess, Buddha and gurus, ancestors, animals and nature. Most importantly I offer it to the divine deep in my heart so, that I can truly connect with those I love.
It has been a year now since the last retreat and I am yearning to get back to that sacred land. The mantra carries me to that place right here right now. I think of Swami Sita, her guru and her guru's guru and I feel a strong yearning in my heart. That sort of emotional yearning was reserved in my previous life for some unfortunate love affairs. Yet this yearning is much different as it brings unconditional love and sweet peace. After all, Swami Sita having done a quick reading of my Jyotish astrological chart said to me with a soft expression "you do have some devotion." Om Namo Narayanaya.
Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Practical Meditation
As I am finishing up both of my ayurveda and yoga trainings I find myself in the midst of an erratic schedule. My sleeping time ranges from 9 pm to 11 pm and my waking time ranges from 5 am to 7 am. Morning is my most sacred time. I set up a morning routine that includes self-cleansing, sacred reading and meditation. With the new schedule I had to relinquish some of the activities. I still regularly practice meditation in the morning except on the days that I have to leave home at 6 am for the yoga classes. On the days that I get up later due to late classes on the previous nights my meditation does not feel quite as satisfying.
A conversation with a friend from the yoga training inspired me to think more deeply about my meditation practice. She is also experiencing some challenges in keeping up with her meditation practice due to changes in her life circumstance. How can we practically integrate meditation into our everyday life when there are changes and conditions that get in the way?
In the last winter, I spent ten days at Sivananda Yoga Ashram in Grass Valley. During those cold and sodden days I woke up at 5:30 am every morning to meditate for thirty minutes. It was my second meditation retreat and I had an easier time following the meditation routine. After a few months of regular meditation practice since the first retreat I was able to sit more comfortably and for a longer period. I was also given a mantra and it had become a habit to repeat the mantra without much fussing. The mantra was to be my object of focus so that I could train my mind to concentrate on only one object. Yet, my mind was still very active even in the peaceful ashram setting. Instead of letting only the mantra filled up my mind I often added the mantra on top of the already brimmed mental space.
After a few days there, I could sometime felt a glimpse of stillness during a meditation. It was as fleeting as the rest of my mental drama. Nevertheless, it was reassuring and I ensued the practice with deliberation. Having more confidence in my meditation practice I asked Swami Sita, a female monk who led the retreat if I could do a longer practice at home. At the first retreat she prescribed to me a fifteen minutes meditation in the morning and again in the evening. I confessed to her that it took about fifteen minutes for my mind to begin settling down. I thought that it would be best for me to aim for a thirty minutes home practice to accommodate my exceedingly active mind. She gave me a compassionate look and proceeded to tell me to the effect of the followings.
Time is not an important measure in meditation. Sitting longer does not improve meditation. Consider meditating throughout the day by becoming more mindful of the mental activities. Observe the mind and emotion. As long as they swing unconsciously throughout the day there is no hope in gaining mental equability necessary for a meditation practice.
Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. They shifted my focus from the span of 30 minutes to each and every moment of the day. They not only freed myself off from trying to achieve a perfect morning meditation but also gave me a chance to make up my meditation no matter where I was and what I was doing. The discipline I used in bringing myself to the meditation cushion could also be utilized and titrated throughout my day whenever I recognized my habitual emotional swings.
Swami Sita’s simple words bestowed me an epiphany. Meditation is not separate from the rest of life. The fruit of meditation is the union of self with Self. That Self is vast and I will not attempt to define it for everyone. For me, it is that which is greater than what my mind can perceive. Hence, it is limitless, timeless and spaceless. It exists in the realm of spirit and it is what inspires (in-spirit) life. To attempt a union with that Self I must become as vast and boundless. I cannot realize it by creating a perfect meditation routine without regards to the rest of my life.
Presently, as I juggle with the not so harmonious schedule I also keep in mind those wise words from Swami Sita. Instead of using my meditation practice as a way to achieve peace and calmness in life, I use life as a way to enhance my meditation practice. I am still sticking to the fifteen minutes routine but I also embrace a five minutes or a thirty minutes session. The best part is that I look for the opportunity to meditate in any given moment. My favorite session is during the time when I have strong emotions like anger and fear or even the seemingly less destructive emotions such as pride and exultation. Those emotions tend to subside after a period of observation. What left are the more neutral, long lasting and nourishing emotions like calmness and contentment.
My meditation for the moment to moment practice consists of bringing my awareness to my thoughts and emotions. Instead of focusing on what a situation or a person makes me feel, I focus on what I make myself feel. This allows me to change how I feel because my feeling does not depend on any outside factor. As long as we think that something or someone is making us feel bad, we give up our responsibility to make the real change in how we response to them. Our concentration is wasted on what is always changing and uncontrollable. A different person or another situation continues to make us feel bad.
I find gratefulness to be an excellent tool in bringing myself out of my all-important, ego-centered self. Instead of trying to control the situation and make changes the moment those emotions arise, I wait. I fill up my time with gratitude on anything that assists me in my daily existence. And I send out my love to whatever and whomever my thoughts were attacking or fearing. After then, I may or may not proceed to act in regard to the emotions. With all the space that I create between my thoughts, emotions and actions, I have a better chance to act appropriately and transcend my stubborn habits. Being grateful is like giving up my small self to the greater Self. In this space there can be no conflict. I am in union with that which inspires my life.
Similar to my morning meditation practice, my moment meditation practice does not always give me a sense of peace. It does continually inspire my observation and subsequently my eagerness for the practice. It does not solve my daily occurring life condition. However, meditating on momentarily life occurrence keeps me grounded in the big picture, the great one. I am not as inclined to be influenced by my life condition. In each and every moment I am given an opportunity to realize my greater Self, even within my irregular schedule. That is something to be grateful for.
Om Namo Narayanaya
A conversation with a friend from the yoga training inspired me to think more deeply about my meditation practice. She is also experiencing some challenges in keeping up with her meditation practice due to changes in her life circumstance. How can we practically integrate meditation into our everyday life when there are changes and conditions that get in the way?
In the last winter, I spent ten days at Sivananda Yoga Ashram in Grass Valley. During those cold and sodden days I woke up at 5:30 am every morning to meditate for thirty minutes. It was my second meditation retreat and I had an easier time following the meditation routine. After a few months of regular meditation practice since the first retreat I was able to sit more comfortably and for a longer period. I was also given a mantra and it had become a habit to repeat the mantra without much fussing. The mantra was to be my object of focus so that I could train my mind to concentrate on only one object. Yet, my mind was still very active even in the peaceful ashram setting. Instead of letting only the mantra filled up my mind I often added the mantra on top of the already brimmed mental space.
After a few days there, I could sometime felt a glimpse of stillness during a meditation. It was as fleeting as the rest of my mental drama. Nevertheless, it was reassuring and I ensued the practice with deliberation. Having more confidence in my meditation practice I asked Swami Sita, a female monk who led the retreat if I could do a longer practice at home. At the first retreat she prescribed to me a fifteen minutes meditation in the morning and again in the evening. I confessed to her that it took about fifteen minutes for my mind to begin settling down. I thought that it would be best for me to aim for a thirty minutes home practice to accommodate my exceedingly active mind. She gave me a compassionate look and proceeded to tell me to the effect of the followings.
Time is not an important measure in meditation. Sitting longer does not improve meditation. Consider meditating throughout the day by becoming more mindful of the mental activities. Observe the mind and emotion. As long as they swing unconsciously throughout the day there is no hope in gaining mental equability necessary for a meditation practice.
Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. They shifted my focus from the span of 30 minutes to each and every moment of the day. They not only freed myself off from trying to achieve a perfect morning meditation but also gave me a chance to make up my meditation no matter where I was and what I was doing. The discipline I used in bringing myself to the meditation cushion could also be utilized and titrated throughout my day whenever I recognized my habitual emotional swings.
Swami Sita’s simple words bestowed me an epiphany. Meditation is not separate from the rest of life. The fruit of meditation is the union of self with Self. That Self is vast and I will not attempt to define it for everyone. For me, it is that which is greater than what my mind can perceive. Hence, it is limitless, timeless and spaceless. It exists in the realm of spirit and it is what inspires (in-spirit) life. To attempt a union with that Self I must become as vast and boundless. I cannot realize it by creating a perfect meditation routine without regards to the rest of my life.
Presently, as I juggle with the not so harmonious schedule I also keep in mind those wise words from Swami Sita. Instead of using my meditation practice as a way to achieve peace and calmness in life, I use life as a way to enhance my meditation practice. I am still sticking to the fifteen minutes routine but I also embrace a five minutes or a thirty minutes session. The best part is that I look for the opportunity to meditate in any given moment. My favorite session is during the time when I have strong emotions like anger and fear or even the seemingly less destructive emotions such as pride and exultation. Those emotions tend to subside after a period of observation. What left are the more neutral, long lasting and nourishing emotions like calmness and contentment.
My meditation for the moment to moment practice consists of bringing my awareness to my thoughts and emotions. Instead of focusing on what a situation or a person makes me feel, I focus on what I make myself feel. This allows me to change how I feel because my feeling does not depend on any outside factor. As long as we think that something or someone is making us feel bad, we give up our responsibility to make the real change in how we response to them. Our concentration is wasted on what is always changing and uncontrollable. A different person or another situation continues to make us feel bad.
I find gratefulness to be an excellent tool in bringing myself out of my all-important, ego-centered self. Instead of trying to control the situation and make changes the moment those emotions arise, I wait. I fill up my time with gratitude on anything that assists me in my daily existence. And I send out my love to whatever and whomever my thoughts were attacking or fearing. After then, I may or may not proceed to act in regard to the emotions. With all the space that I create between my thoughts, emotions and actions, I have a better chance to act appropriately and transcend my stubborn habits. Being grateful is like giving up my small self to the greater Self. In this space there can be no conflict. I am in union with that which inspires my life.
Similar to my morning meditation practice, my moment meditation practice does not always give me a sense of peace. It does continually inspire my observation and subsequently my eagerness for the practice. It does not solve my daily occurring life condition. However, meditating on momentarily life occurrence keeps me grounded in the big picture, the great one. I am not as inclined to be influenced by my life condition. In each and every moment I am given an opportunity to realize my greater Self, even within my irregular schedule. That is something to be grateful for.
Om Namo Narayanaya
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