As I am finishing up both of my ayurveda and yoga trainings I find myself in the midst of an erratic schedule. My sleeping time ranges from 9 pm to 11 pm and my waking time ranges from 5 am to 7 am. Morning is my most sacred time. I set up a morning routine that includes self-cleansing, sacred reading and meditation. With the new schedule I had to relinquish some of the activities. I still regularly practice meditation in the morning except on the days that I have to leave home at 6 am for the yoga classes. On the days that I get up later due to late classes on the previous nights my meditation does not feel quite as satisfying.
A conversation with a friend from the yoga training inspired me to think more deeply about my meditation practice. She is also experiencing some challenges in keeping up with her meditation practice due to changes in her life circumstance. How can we practically integrate meditation into our everyday life when there are changes and conditions that get in the way?
In the last winter, I spent ten days at Sivananda Yoga Ashram in Grass Valley. During those cold and sodden days I woke up at 5:30 am every morning to meditate for thirty minutes. It was my second meditation retreat and I had an easier time following the meditation routine. After a few months of regular meditation practice since the first retreat I was able to sit more comfortably and for a longer period. I was also given a mantra and it had become a habit to repeat the mantra without much fussing. The mantra was to be my object of focus so that I could train my mind to concentrate on only one object. Yet, my mind was still very active even in the peaceful ashram setting. Instead of letting only the mantra filled up my mind I often added the mantra on top of the already brimmed mental space.
After a few days there, I could sometime felt a glimpse of stillness during a meditation. It was as fleeting as the rest of my mental drama. Nevertheless, it was reassuring and I ensued the practice with deliberation. Having more confidence in my meditation practice I asked Swami Sita, a female monk who led the retreat if I could do a longer practice at home. At the first retreat she prescribed to me a fifteen minutes meditation in the morning and again in the evening. I confessed to her that it took about fifteen minutes for my mind to begin settling down. I thought that it would be best for me to aim for a thirty minutes home practice to accommodate my exceedingly active mind. She gave me a compassionate look and proceeded to tell me to the effect of the followings.
Time is not an important measure in meditation. Sitting longer does not improve meditation. Consider meditating throughout the day by becoming more mindful of the mental activities. Observe the mind and emotion. As long as they swing unconsciously throughout the day there is no hope in gaining mental equability necessary for a meditation practice.
Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. They shifted my focus from the span of 30 minutes to each and every moment of the day. They not only freed myself off from trying to achieve a perfect morning meditation but also gave me a chance to make up my meditation no matter where I was and what I was doing. The discipline I used in bringing myself to the meditation cushion could also be utilized and titrated throughout my day whenever I recognized my habitual emotional swings.
Swami Sita’s simple words bestowed me an epiphany. Meditation is not separate from the rest of life. The fruit of meditation is the union of self with Self. That Self is vast and I will not attempt to define it for everyone. For me, it is that which is greater than what my mind can perceive. Hence, it is limitless, timeless and spaceless. It exists in the realm of spirit and it is what inspires (in-spirit) life. To attempt a union with that Self I must become as vast and boundless. I cannot realize it by creating a perfect meditation routine without regards to the rest of my life.
Presently, as I juggle with the not so harmonious schedule I also keep in mind those wise words from Swami Sita. Instead of using my meditation practice as a way to achieve peace and calmness in life, I use life as a way to enhance my meditation practice. I am still sticking to the fifteen minutes routine but I also embrace a five minutes or a thirty minutes session. The best part is that I look for the opportunity to meditate in any given moment. My favorite session is during the time when I have strong emotions like anger and fear or even the seemingly less destructive emotions such as pride and exultation. Those emotions tend to subside after a period of observation. What left are the more neutral, long lasting and nourishing emotions like calmness and contentment.
My meditation for the moment to moment practice consists of bringing my awareness to my thoughts and emotions. Instead of focusing on what a situation or a person makes me feel, I focus on what I make myself feel. This allows me to change how I feel because my feeling does not depend on any outside factor. As long as we think that something or someone is making us feel bad, we give up our responsibility to make the real change in how we response to them. Our concentration is wasted on what is always changing and uncontrollable. A different person or another situation continues to make us feel bad.
I find gratefulness to be an excellent tool in bringing myself out of my all-important, ego-centered self. Instead of trying to control the situation and make changes the moment those emotions arise, I wait. I fill up my time with gratitude on anything that assists me in my daily existence. And I send out my love to whatever and whomever my thoughts were attacking or fearing. After then, I may or may not proceed to act in regard to the emotions. With all the space that I create between my thoughts, emotions and actions, I have a better chance to act appropriately and transcend my stubborn habits. Being grateful is like giving up my small self to the greater Self. In this space there can be no conflict. I am in union with that which inspires my life.
Similar to my morning meditation practice, my moment meditation practice does not always give me a sense of peace. It does continually inspire my observation and subsequently my eagerness for the practice. It does not solve my daily occurring life condition. However, meditating on momentarily life occurrence keeps me grounded in the big picture, the great one. I am not as inclined to be influenced by my life condition. In each and every moment I am given an opportunity to realize my greater Self, even within my irregular schedule. That is something to be grateful for.
Om Namo Narayanaya
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Cook well. Eat well.
Welcome to the first edition of my personal articles. Ayurveda and yoga permeate every aspect of our life. I hope you enjoy reading the article as much as I enjoy sharing my personal experiences as a practitioner of yoga and ayurveda.
Growing up in Thailand was a blessed experience. The country is full of colorful and aromatic pleasures. I remember countless evenings of fragranced coconut curry intermingled with slightly less appealing but equally fragranced fried salty fishes. Over the years as my attachment to these sensual treasures grew I also started to encounter the less pleasurable experiences. Often times I would feel an unbearable discomfort after a wonderful meal. My emotion too had its own pendulous swing ranging from begrudged and anger to fear and depression.
My mother was born into a poor family. My late grandfather was a policeman who was very strict in his professional as well as family life. My mother who is an eldest daughter was given the responsibility as a caretaker for her four brothers and a sister. My mother did the best she could. She forwent her academic education reluctantly at her father’s bid. A woman did not need an intellectual cultivation in my grandfather’s time. She poured all of her energy into learning her profession – cooking.
As a child I took her talent and skill for granted. Instead I ceaselessly admired my father’s intelligent and his successful profession as an engineer. After all, our dinners were always good but it was my father’s presence that was consistently missing. He was too busy for the daily family gathering due to his demanding work. Often my siblings and I would dine without our parents. My mother, true to her obligated upbringing would spend much of her time cooking wonderful meals for us without participating in the feast with the rest of us. To this day she still prefers eating quietly by herself after she cooks.
Growing up I was always encouraged by my elders to eat well. My family having come from Chinese ancestry especially places great value in a strong appetite in children. Eating a big meal meant showing power and strength. Since then, I have come to realize the truth behind that sentiment. It was an easy habit to tend given that I was delivered wonderful meals daily. I continued the custom throughout my adult life until the recent years.
Coming to learn ayurveda is another blessing I have been graced with. My unbearable discomfort after eating a meal is no longer a daily encounter. In fact, I rarely feel any digestive discomfort these days. Ayurveda teaches that the pathology of any disease in our physical body starts in the digestive system. Hence, eating well is of great consequence to our health.
We commonly place our attention more on the food we eat than how we eat the food. Earlier in life, my idea of eating well was to eat delicious food and a lot of it. I thought I was doing a good service to myself. However, this goal led to a cascade of physical and emotional imbalances. I could not have connected the causes to the effects without knowing the principle of ayurveda. That principle is “awareness”.
Ayurveda suggests several ways to eat consciously. I practiced none of them growing up. It is of no mystery then that I suffered from gas, distension and abdominal pain. Ayurveda recognizes the interconnectedness between the mind and body. Emotional stress is both the cause and effect of an unhealthy body. Having the right state of mind prepares our body to receive and digest food properly. It is the most important factor in supporting optimal function of the digestive system.
Beginning a meal with grace starts our digestive journey properly. Instead of grieving over the absence of my father I could have been grateful for the wonderful meal I was given through the love of my mother. Being grateful gives us the sense of contentment and opens our mind and body to receive what the moment brings including nutritious supplies to our being.
During a meal we should keep external activity to a minimum. I spent many meals watching television, reading a book or magazine and mindlessly engaging in emotional conversation either with myself or with others while eating. All these extra activities kept my energy away from assimilating the food and lessen my digestive strength. This suggestion sounds simple enough. But once you start practicing you will become well aware of how difficult it is to eat without distraction. Do you remember the last time you spend your meal being with just your food?
Collectively we juggle multiple tasks at any given moment. Sometime we do this deliberately to achieve higher performances. Most of the time it is automatic. When our mind is distracted our body tends to want more activities. When we do one thing at a time we are more focus on that particular activity. We can actually feel more, enjoy more and perform better. My mother naturally follows this healthy eating guideline. We can do the same with or without a company of others.
There is less seepage of awareness when we slow down. Intentionally chewing our food until it is an even consistency keeps us engaged in the eating process. The saliva and the act of chewing also predigest the food which lessen the work of the other digestive organs and improve nutrient absorption.
Eating only until we are moderately full will give us satisfaction without feeling heavy. This meant that we should eat to about 75% full not 100%. I was consistently eating at a rate of 120% full before learning the ayurvedic principle. As a child, my metabolism was strong enough to take the abuse and I did not feel dis-ease. But as I grew older, the accumulative abuse resulted in a strong digestive imbalance. My digestive power became weaker yet I continued to eat too much. Finally, the imbalance became so deep that it was given a disease name IBS. Fortunately, I came to know ayurveda before the condition got any deeper since there is no cure for IBS in the conventional medicine.
Finishing up a meal we should give ourselves some time before rushing off to another activity. After a meal, our body still digests the food it received. We should keep our activity light for about 15-20 minutes. Now is a good time to have a light conversation, read a light book or take a slow walk. Eating is a sacred experience. The food we eat gets absorbed and builds our body tissues. Our relationship with food is one of the most intimate. By treating our meal time as a ritual, we give the best care to our body and in turn our body will no longer complain through digestive symptoms.
After I became an Ayurvedic Specialist Intern, I realized that there are many of us who suffer daily from digestive challenges. The symptoms can be improved and eliminated not only through what we eat but how we eat as I have explained. Having lived away from Thailand for fifteen years, I eagerly await the next time I would be back to Thailand to experience and taste its sensual treasures. However, my focus has shifted from the gross delectable experience to the more conscious and meaningful experience. An indulgence without awareness causes suffering. A conscious meal gratifies my whole being almost as much as my mother’s smile after I praise her magnificent gift.
Growing up in Thailand was a blessed experience. The country is full of colorful and aromatic pleasures. I remember countless evenings of fragranced coconut curry intermingled with slightly less appealing but equally fragranced fried salty fishes. Over the years as my attachment to these sensual treasures grew I also started to encounter the less pleasurable experiences. Often times I would feel an unbearable discomfort after a wonderful meal. My emotion too had its own pendulous swing ranging from begrudged and anger to fear and depression.
My mother was born into a poor family. My late grandfather was a policeman who was very strict in his professional as well as family life. My mother who is an eldest daughter was given the responsibility as a caretaker for her four brothers and a sister. My mother did the best she could. She forwent her academic education reluctantly at her father’s bid. A woman did not need an intellectual cultivation in my grandfather’s time. She poured all of her energy into learning her profession – cooking.
As a child I took her talent and skill for granted. Instead I ceaselessly admired my father’s intelligent and his successful profession as an engineer. After all, our dinners were always good but it was my father’s presence that was consistently missing. He was too busy for the daily family gathering due to his demanding work. Often my siblings and I would dine without our parents. My mother, true to her obligated upbringing would spend much of her time cooking wonderful meals for us without participating in the feast with the rest of us. To this day she still prefers eating quietly by herself after she cooks.
Growing up I was always encouraged by my elders to eat well. My family having come from Chinese ancestry especially places great value in a strong appetite in children. Eating a big meal meant showing power and strength. Since then, I have come to realize the truth behind that sentiment. It was an easy habit to tend given that I was delivered wonderful meals daily. I continued the custom throughout my adult life until the recent years.
Coming to learn ayurveda is another blessing I have been graced with. My unbearable discomfort after eating a meal is no longer a daily encounter. In fact, I rarely feel any digestive discomfort these days. Ayurveda teaches that the pathology of any disease in our physical body starts in the digestive system. Hence, eating well is of great consequence to our health.
We commonly place our attention more on the food we eat than how we eat the food. Earlier in life, my idea of eating well was to eat delicious food and a lot of it. I thought I was doing a good service to myself. However, this goal led to a cascade of physical and emotional imbalances. I could not have connected the causes to the effects without knowing the principle of ayurveda. That principle is “awareness”.
Ayurveda suggests several ways to eat consciously. I practiced none of them growing up. It is of no mystery then that I suffered from gas, distension and abdominal pain. Ayurveda recognizes the interconnectedness between the mind and body. Emotional stress is both the cause and effect of an unhealthy body. Having the right state of mind prepares our body to receive and digest food properly. It is the most important factor in supporting optimal function of the digestive system.
Beginning a meal with grace starts our digestive journey properly. Instead of grieving over the absence of my father I could have been grateful for the wonderful meal I was given through the love of my mother. Being grateful gives us the sense of contentment and opens our mind and body to receive what the moment brings including nutritious supplies to our being.
During a meal we should keep external activity to a minimum. I spent many meals watching television, reading a book or magazine and mindlessly engaging in emotional conversation either with myself or with others while eating. All these extra activities kept my energy away from assimilating the food and lessen my digestive strength. This suggestion sounds simple enough. But once you start practicing you will become well aware of how difficult it is to eat without distraction. Do you remember the last time you spend your meal being with just your food?
Collectively we juggle multiple tasks at any given moment. Sometime we do this deliberately to achieve higher performances. Most of the time it is automatic. When our mind is distracted our body tends to want more activities. When we do one thing at a time we are more focus on that particular activity. We can actually feel more, enjoy more and perform better. My mother naturally follows this healthy eating guideline. We can do the same with or without a company of others.
There is less seepage of awareness when we slow down. Intentionally chewing our food until it is an even consistency keeps us engaged in the eating process. The saliva and the act of chewing also predigest the food which lessen the work of the other digestive organs and improve nutrient absorption.
Eating only until we are moderately full will give us satisfaction without feeling heavy. This meant that we should eat to about 75% full not 100%. I was consistently eating at a rate of 120% full before learning the ayurvedic principle. As a child, my metabolism was strong enough to take the abuse and I did not feel dis-ease. But as I grew older, the accumulative abuse resulted in a strong digestive imbalance. My digestive power became weaker yet I continued to eat too much. Finally, the imbalance became so deep that it was given a disease name IBS. Fortunately, I came to know ayurveda before the condition got any deeper since there is no cure for IBS in the conventional medicine.
Finishing up a meal we should give ourselves some time before rushing off to another activity. After a meal, our body still digests the food it received. We should keep our activity light for about 15-20 minutes. Now is a good time to have a light conversation, read a light book or take a slow walk. Eating is a sacred experience. The food we eat gets absorbed and builds our body tissues. Our relationship with food is one of the most intimate. By treating our meal time as a ritual, we give the best care to our body and in turn our body will no longer complain through digestive symptoms.
After I became an Ayurvedic Specialist Intern, I realized that there are many of us who suffer daily from digestive challenges. The symptoms can be improved and eliminated not only through what we eat but how we eat as I have explained. Having lived away from Thailand for fifteen years, I eagerly await the next time I would be back to Thailand to experience and taste its sensual treasures. However, my focus has shifted from the gross delectable experience to the more conscious and meaningful experience. An indulgence without awareness causes suffering. A conscious meal gratifies my whole being almost as much as my mother’s smile after I praise her magnificent gift.
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